Anger stimulates the body's adrenaline response, our body's way of helping us cope by either fighting or running away ("fight or flight" response). We respond to our thoughts by acting, or feeling an urge to act, in a threatening or aggressive manner.

Anger Management

The Adrenaline Response
When there is a real or imagined threat or danger, the body's automatic survival mechanism quickly activates. The action most associated with anger is the urge to attack. Other physical sensations and behaviors may include:

Physical Sensations

• heart racing or pounding — enabling good blood supply around our bodies

• breathing quickly — allowing more oxygen around the body

• tensing muscles — a state of readiness to fight or flight

• shaking

• getting hot, sweating

• light-headedness

• churning stomach or butterflies

• clenching fist or teeth

Behaviors:

• staring and facial expressions

• aggressive body posture

• attacking

• hitting

• arguing

• shouting

• running or storming away

• not talking

• sulking

The Anger Cycle
We all feel angry at times. Some people tend to become angry easily (a "short fuse") and have problems controlling their anger. Anger has consequences, and they often involve hurting other people — more often their feelings, but sometimes physically. Anger can cause problems in our personal lives and affect our work and study. After an angry outburst, we can think very critically of ourselves and our actions, leading us to feel guilty, ashamed and lowering our mood, which may result in withdrawing from others and not wanting to do anything.

Identify Your Triggers
What or when are the times when you are more likely to get angry? If you can see the patterns, then maybe you can do something about those situations, and do something different.

• Behind the wheel?

• At work?

• When stressed?

• With certain people?

• When you've been drinking or using other substances?

What To Do When You Feel Angry

• Pause, take a breath, don't react automatically

• Walk away - you can come back and talk later

Ask yourself:

• What am I reacting to?

• What is it that's really pushing my buttons here?

• Is this fact or opinion?

• Am I getting things out of proportion?

• How important is this really?

• How important will it be in 6 months?

• What harm has actually been done?

• Am I expecting something from this person or situation that is unrealistic?

• What's the worst (and best) that could happen? What's most likely to happen?

• Am I jumping to conclusions about what this person meant? Is it possible that they didn't mean that?

• What do I want or need from this person or situation? What do they want or need from me? Is there a compromise?

• What would be the consequences of responding angrily?

• Is there another way of dealing with this? What would be the most helpful and effective action to take?

• Visualize yourself dealing with the situation in a calm, non-aggressive but assertive way, respecting the rights and opinions of all others involved.

How To Deal With The Physical Sensations Of Anger
Counteract the body's adrenaline response - its readiness for action- by using that energy healthily.

• Practice calming or mindful breathing — this will help reduce the physical sensations, emotions, and intensity of thoughts.

• Visualization: Breathe in blue (for calm) and/or green (for balance), and breathe out red.

• Go for a walk, run or cycle, or maybe do some gardening or housework.

10 Anger Management Tips

Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these:

1. Take a timeout
Counting to 10 isn't just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing down can help defuse your temper. If necessary, take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a bit.

2. Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Get some exercise
Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other favorite physical activities. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.

4. Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

5. Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything, and might only make it worse.

6. Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes," instead of, "You never do any housework."

7. Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

8. Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don't use sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

9. Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. You might explore local anger management classes or anger management counseling. With professional help, you can:

• Learn what anger is

• Identify what triggers your anger

• Recognize signs that you're becoming angry

• Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way

• Explore underlying feelings, such as sadness or depression

Anger management classes and counseling can be done individually, with your partner or other family members, or in a group. Request a referral from your doctor to a counselor specializing in anger management, or ask family members, friends or other contacts for recommendations. Your health insurer, employee assistance program (EAP), clergy, or state or local agencies also might offer recommendations.

Anger results from thinking we have been treated unfairly or disrespected, or that others have broken or fallen short of our rules, standards, or expectations.